We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
