i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
