i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
They took my balls.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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