You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize