my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
