I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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