So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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