i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Randomize
