its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
vagina is talking i cant
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
PANTIES FOUND
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