the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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