my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
