you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
