Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
