Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
