i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
where am i from again
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
