I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
