I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm going to jail i love you
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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