At least make sure they are 18
Why
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
