my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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