At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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