you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
