You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
