My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
