it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
