I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
