so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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