reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
