She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
