Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
