I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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