I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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