so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
