exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
