That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
