My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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