My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Randomize
