He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
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