uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The feeling are messing with the penis
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Randomize