I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize