Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
