Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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