belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
