I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
