you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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