That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
