It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize