you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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