my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
