M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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