I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
