what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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