apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
