is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I AM VODKA MAN
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
