She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
