No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
