NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
