Don't you send me to vm
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
