around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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