she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Say something about gay babies.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
