Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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