me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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