I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
