you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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