i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
