Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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